


Dean X Reader Anorexia Nervosa

by ZinevichS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Men of Letters Bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZinevichS/pseuds/ZinevichS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has anorexia</p><p>TRIGGER WARNINGS: READ AT OWN RISK</p><p>Be safe.</p><p>More Coming for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finding Out

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this just because maybe help some people? I don't know.
> 
> Not trying to romanticize anything. I know how serious this condition is. Just hopefully trying to make someone's day better.
> 
> Please get help if you need it.

You haven’t been eating.

You have been keeping track of how much calories you take in.

You make yourself vomit when you take in too much.

 

You’re sitting in the living room reading a book. Sam went to sleep early; Dean went to go get dinner. You didn’t really want to eat, you went over your calorie count but you had to keep up appearances so the boys wouldn’t notice your lack of eating. You thought you were doing a good job at hiding it.

Dean’s been gone awhile so he will be back soon, you’re sure of that. You go back to reading, preparing yourself for what is to come.

Dean comes back with a big bag of greasy food that makes your stomach gives gurgles for hunger and lurches at the thought of all those calories.

“Hey baby, I got food,” Dean’s smiling at you; you force yourself to smile back at him.

“Ya I see that; looks good.” You hate lying to him like that but it was better for everyone if you kept your dirty little secret.

You take the bag he’s holding out to you bringing it back to the living room, where your book is. You sit down, taking the food out of the bag, you start to eat. You don’t really want to but appearances. Dean sits next to you, taking his own food from his bag, putting his arm around you. Dean’s hold makes you tense then relax; hoping he didn’t notice or if he did that he wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t.

“I’m going to bed Dean,” You say after you guys have finished dinner.

“Okay baby, I’m gonna stay down here for a little while, probably come back to the room in an hour or so. Get sleep Sweetheart,” Dean kisses you deeply bringing you to him, hugging you around your waist. You try not to shy away but you’re disgusted with yourself right now. You quickly kiss him back then slip from his hold, not noticing his frown as you quickly fled from the room.

You get to yours’s and Dean’s room shutting the door and quickly make for the bathroom, knowing you got an hour to get all the calories from your body before Dean comes to the room. You get in the bathroom closing the door.

You quickly open the toilet lid, slipping your finger down your throat.

 

Dean noticed that you had tensed but chose not to say anything, letting it go, but after you pulled away from him quickly he knew something was wrong.

He followed you to the bedroom, going to the bathroom noticing the door slightly cracked.

He looked in without making you aware of his presence. He did not like what he was seeing…

 

You kept stuffing your finger down your throat, trying to get the horrible food that was inside of your stomach out. You didn’t hear the door open, nor the footsteps walking towards you.

You **did** feel the hands that lifted your hair up away from your face as you spat the remaining of your dinner out of your mouth. You tensed.

After you were done you sat back from the toilet, looking up at who you knew was there.

“Dean-“

“Don’t. Y/N don’t. I want to know why you are fucking **_stuffing_** your fingers down your fucking throat. What would even fucking compel you to even do that!?”

You flinch back from his angry tone. You thought he wouldn’t take well to this and you were right. You didn’t know how to explain yourself. Naturally, you started to babble.

“Dean. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out. I didn’t want you too but this is what I do. I do this to keep me looking good. I have to keep count of my calories so that I can stay thin. Look beautiful. Beautiful enough so that you will love me… If I don’t, I gain weight. I don’t like that, no one does. Keeping me in check is good. Good for me, for you, for everyone.”

From the look on Dean’s face you can tell that he is horrified by what you said. You don’t understand. Doesn’t he love you thin and beautiful? This is the only way to make sure you stay beautiful. You knew he wouldn’t understand.

“Y/N… Why the fuck do you think I wouldn’t love you if you didn’t look how you are? What- Just fucking hell Y/N! You don’t need to do any of that to keep you looking beautiful! You look fucking beautiful as you are-“

You cut Dean off, standing up, “Ya because I make myself look beautiful! That’s why I look beautiful. I will keep doing it so I can stay beautiful! I want to stay beautiful Dean!!”

“Y/N that’s not what I mea-“

You don’t hear what he says because you run out of the room, out of the bunker into the snow; only wearing a t-shirt, Dean’s flannel, shorts, and socks. You run down the road, crying your heart out. You hear Dean shout your name; hear his footsteps gaining on you. You run faster, tripping, of course, of all the things. You cry out in pain and anger. You struggle to get up, you’re freezing. Once you do you try to run, you must have twisted or sprained your ankle, there’s shooting pain up your leg. You still trudge on, trying to get away from Dean, though you know he’s gaining on you, being faster than you to start with but now add in your messed up ankle.

Your stomach gurgles, feeling sick you stop, acidic fluid coming up; you have nothing left in your stomach. After, you stop running; you stop everything, just slump to the floor staring out into the distance.

Dean eventually catches up to you, sitting in front of you on the road.

“Y/N. I didn’t mean that. Please. Let me get you back to the bunker.”

You don’t reply, just slump and nod your head.

Dean puts his coat on you then picks you up. You rest your head against his strong chest but you feel twitchy, disgusted with yourself. You can’t take comfort in Dean right now.

Dean opens the door to the bunker; Sam is standing there, apparently woken from your fight. He frowns when he sees you in Dean’s arms, tense.

“Sam. Just go back to your room. I got her.”

Sam looks hesitant though, “Y/N...”

You don’t look at him; can’t get yourself to, just curls up to Dean more, he puts you on the couch.

“Sam. I said go. I got her. She will let you know when she feels up to it. Let me take care of her right now. Go. To. Sleep.” Dean growls out at Sam. You try to hide your face more, not being able to look at your best friend or your boyfriend for that matter right now.

Sam comes up to you though and hugs you, tightly.

“It’ll be okay Y/N.” Then he leaves for his room, no doubt staying up.

Dean sits next to you, putting the blanket on the back of the couch over you to warm you. He doesn’t pull you to him or rest his hand on you or anything, just sits there.

After a long silence Dean speaks, “Y/N I didn’t mean that you look beautiful as you are- shit I’m shit at this Y/N- I meant no matter how you look you will look beautiful as always. Your body is perfectly fine, no matter if it’s thin or round. It’s your personality that I love. I love that you laugh at the stupid corny jokes I make. I love that you get so into reading your books. I love that you get geeky over your TV shows. I love your adorable laugh that makes you seem so happy, free. I love that you are so fucking sweet to anyone you meet no matter that they are strangers. I love that you can become so sympathetic and caring to a victim. I love _you_. Please don’t think I wouldn’t if you gained weight. Who the fuck cares? I and Sammy don’t. No one does but you. Please baby.”

You’re sobbing now, clinging to Deans shirt. “I’m sorry Dean. It’s just hard to accept. I know it’s bad. I know.”

“Me and Sammy are going to help you get through this baby girl. I promise you that. YOU will beat this no matter what. If you set back I will be there to pick you back up. I know it will be a long road to recovery but you _will_ beat this. I love you, so damn much.”

“I love you too Dean.


	2. Working Through It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not trying to Romanticize just doing it just because.

The next day you wake up to find Dean wrapped around you on the couch. You guys must have fallen asleep last night after your talk.

You untangle yourself from Dean, being sure not to wake him, heading to the kitchen. Sam is there drinking coffee. He looks up when you enter, smiling.

"Hey Y/N. How are you?"

You smile at Sam, grabbing a cup from the cabinet, filling it with water. "Pretty crappy actually but it's okay."

Sam looks at you concerned. You know he wants to know what's wrong but doesn't want to push you.

He's a saint.

"I'll tell you Sammy, when Dean wakes up, I swear you will know what's going on, just wait." Sam nods, drinking his coffee.

Dean wakes shortly after, grabbing a cup of coffee. All three of you sit at the table. You and Dean across from Sam.

You're nervous. You don't know what Sam will say, you got lucky with Dean.

Dean notices and grabs your hand and squeezes it, giving you courage.

"Sam. I-I have-uh- I have anorexia." You look down, tears in your eyes. It's so much harder having to say it out loud.

You feel Sam's hand on your shoulder then, you look up at him teary eyed.

"Y/N it's okay. We will get you through it. I don't understand why you do it considering you are beautiful as you are but we will help you.' Sam smiles at you. You give him a watery smile back.

Sam gets up, pulling you from your seat, crushing you in one of his ginormous bear hugs. You squeeze him back, crying into his shirt. Sam just holds you, looking at Dean with sad eyes. Dean looks back with the same sad eyes but there's determination in them. Determination to help you through this, even if it is a long and hard road ahead. You will get through this.

You let go of Sam.

"Hey why don't we watch something? Y/N you can pick. Me and Sasquatch here will get the snacks."

Your stomach lurches at the though of snacks, though, you nod. You go to the living room picking what you want; Game of Thrones, your favorite TV show. You sit on a recliner waiting for the boys to come in.

"Here are the snacks," Sam and Dean set down a tray _piled_ with snacks and beer and water. You feel sick.

"Move over baby," Dean lifts you easily, setting you back down on his lap; wrapping his strong arms around you.

You recline into Dean's chest, hitting play; you see Sam recline all across the couch, feet hanging off the side,  _gigantor_. 

Dean grabs a bag of M&M's, thinking he could get you to eat something small. When he offers you some though, you frown.

"Please sweetheart, I can hear your stomach, you're hungry. Just take some, we can share them." You glance at him, seeing his sincerity, his worry; you glance at Sam, catching him looking at you with puppy dog eyes, how are you supposed to refuse? You take a couple. They brothers smile brightly at you. Dean gives you a kiss, snuggling you against his chest.

You hear Sam gag. You guy's break, Dean looks over at him.

"Ah Sammy you're just jealous that I got the girl."

"Ya Dean totally. She is my best friend and like a sister to me I'm totally okay with you 'getting the girl'." Sam scoffs then smiles at you.

You snuggle into Dean's chest, wrapping your arms around him, taking comfort in the excess heat he always seems to radiate.

You love these guys so much. Their amazing. Maybe, with help, you can beat this. You are sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Stay safe lovelies.


End file.
